Christmas With the Kranks

Christmas with the Kranks

I know what you’re thinking. Christmas with the Kranks? This isn’t the Jamie Lee Curtis movie you said you would review today! I know, I know. And my review of A Fish Called Wanda is forthcoming. 

But this evening I went to see a screening of Amy Adams’ new film Leap Year, and so I had no time to jot anything down about Wanda….which I watched earlier.

I can’t post a review of Leap Year until Friday, so in the meantime let me present to you the very first review I ever wrote for 97.1 FM Talk wayyyyy back in 2004, Christmas with the Kranks.

The thing I remember most about this screening was actually my drive home from the theatre, when I had to pull over into a church parking lot and vomit. I would like to think it was because of a bad reaction to fake popcorn butter, but it could have been my reaction to the film.

Here’s the review, from November 24^th, 2004.

Christmas with the Kranks

Release Date: November 24^th 2004

Director: Joe Roth

Starring: Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Dan Aykroyd

Rating: PG

Tim Allen can't seem to stay away from Christmas. And maybe that's a bad thing.

After two unbearable Santa Clause films, he returns to the season in this adaptation of John Grisham's fine book Skipping Christmas, cranking out a film that tries too hard to earn a spot as a holiday classic.

As their daughter spends the holiday away from home, the Kranks (Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis) decide to take a tropical cruise instead of celebrating Christmas.

This angers their neighbors, all of whom figure anyone attempting to skip a holiday must be utterly deranged.

When their daughter calls saying she has changed her mind and is coming home, the Kranks have to come up with a huge Christmas celebration in no time flat, or face soul-crushing disappointment from their holiday-loving daughter.

Will the Kranks' angry neighbors help them in their time of need? I'll let you guess.

Except for a short Botox sight gag which works wonderfully, too many of the jokes are forced, and most fall flat on their face, as Allen literally does numerous times in the film.

Dan Aykroyd and Cheech Marin are basically wasted in a plot you can see coming a mile away down Santa Claus lane. (What? You mean Christmas is really all about family and friends? Aw shucks, thanks!)

Recently Jamie Lee Curtis was quoted saying she planned to give up acting to focus on other artistic endeavors, such as writing children's books. This news is especially sad not only because she's done quality work in films such as Halloween and A Fish Called Wanda, but because it means her last movie might be this stinker. 

You're better off renting A Christmas Story or Scrooged than spending this Christmas with the Kranks. (See what I did there?! That's the title! Hah!)

Bah Humbug. 

In case you’re wondering where I stand on holiday films, I’d say there has never been a better Xmas Co-Star than Lauren Graham in Bad Santa, and my favorite Christmas movie is actually Batman Returns. (Peace on Earth, Goodwill toward Men...and Women.")

Tomorrow: A Fish Called Wanda (really)